Alumna Angela Stoof: The gentle strength of perspective

From analytical to emotional

After graduating smoothly, Angela decided to pursue doctoral research at the Open University in Heerlen, focusing on competence-based education. It was largely quantitative research, with a strong emphasis on statistics. “Along the way, I noticed: ‘something’s missing’. Something started to gnaw at me, but I found it very hard to pinpoint. I also had a burnout in between – I hit a wall.” While the PBL system at UM had offered her room to explore, during her PhD she felt increasingly boxed in. “I also struggled with being cast in the role of an objective researcher. That kind of distance from your subject felt unnatural. And the academic conferences I attended felt alienating. I felt like we were asking the wrong questions and that our type of research was squeezing the life out of things. I was searching for something else, but I didn’t know what.”

After completing her doctorate, Angela took a completely new direction. She was looking for something beyond the analytical, scientific lens – something that allowed space for the voice of the heart, for feelings and emotions. In 2007, she founded her own business: Kimi’mila. The name, derived from a Native American myth, means "butterfly" and symbolises transformation and transition – a perfect match for her new work: guiding people through grief and farewells. “I wrote farewell texts for people who had passed away and helped to shape the farewell service.”

In this role, Angela worked closely with vulnerable individuals, which demanded a completely different approach from her academic background. “As a scientist, you’re trained to work from your head. You learn to analyse and think critically. But when working with vulnerable people, something else is needed. As a ritual guide, I felt I was working from my heart and gut. It was beautiful work, full of connection and humanity.”

To create that space herself, she founded her current company, De Milde Organisatie, in 2018. Her mission? To bring more kindness and humanity into organisations. Her inspiration came not only from her own experiences but also from what she saw around her. “I saw so many people getting stuck in the bureaucratic clay of organisational systems. So many people full of creativity and potential, yet unable to flourish. I saw organisations becoming too hard, and the urgent need for more softness and humanity.”

Her search for answers took her deeper into the root of the issue. “I started to explore different perspectives – just like in the old PBL days. I asked: what’s really going on with systems in organisations? What kind of system is it? Why is it so persistent? And how can we make it a gentler and more humane system?”

Gradually, her perspective broadened: “I began to look beyond isolated problems. I realised that the systems putting pressure on human dignity in organisations are the same systems causing crises in healthcare, the climate, housing, and nitrogen. And then I thought: could it be that we’re facing an underlying systemic problem?” That was when she began identifying as a transition psychologist – focusing on major societal shifts and the systemic changes required in organisations and beyond.

In search of hope and perspective

Thanks to her company, Angela built a broad network and came into contact with a publisher. This led to the idea of writing a book about the systemic issue she kept encountering. She observed how this problem not only pushed people to their limits, but also affected animals and the planet. She also saw how desperately people were searching for hope and perspective.

That thought led to the title of her book: Perspectief. With this book, Angela wants to show the other side of the chaos, unrest, and confusion of our times. She interviews a wide range of people: from a Tiny House pioneer and a landscape architect to someone working on economic system change and mental health activists. “If you bring their stories together, you see there is actually so much hope and perspective. People are incredibly creative, courageous, and wise, and they’re using their uniqueness to spark entirely new beginnings. People have the capacity to start anew, again and again. The philosopher Hannah Arendt called this natality. For Arendt, this is what defines us as human. It’s a very different vision of humanity from the homo economicus, who’s always driven by self-interest. Maybe the greatest challenge of our time is learning anew what it means to be human.”

Her book is multidisciplinary, approaching questions from various angles: information theory, psychology, theology, philosophy, and more. “Being curious and practising a different way of looking at an issue is at the heart of my book,” Angela explains. “I hope to convey something of the wonder and joy that this way of seeing brings.”

Angela also hopes to foster more kindness in society. “Society sometimes feels deeply polarised, and you can see that many people are affected by that. It’s as if society is falling apart.” That’s why she emphasises the importance of listening and trying to understand one another. In her book, she introduces the concept of unblaming.

“Unblaming essentially means taking the blame you’ve placed on another off their shoulders. It means stepping out of the 'us versus them' narrative, where there’s a clear villain. Instead, you start looking at the full story: what’s the context, what were the misunderstandings, what turned out differently than intended, which rules don’t seem to work, what are the real concerns about the future?”

With Perspectief, Angela hopes to reintroduce gentleness, kindness, and humanity into conversations. “My book is truly an advocate for that.”

Text: Janneke Haemers
Photography: Bart van Dieken